last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
