would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
