why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
