I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
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