Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
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Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
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Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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