$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
