Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
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