i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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