i don't like sucking hair
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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