meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
