It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
