Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
