Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
