You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
