the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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