I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
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It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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