Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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