omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
