I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This is my gift to your gina
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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