singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
