Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
