i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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