im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
