a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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