just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
