Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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