There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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