i would punch a child for taco bell
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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