my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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