i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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