If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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