Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
