no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
