why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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