I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
