Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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