Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
