currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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