Can i not drive my cunt home
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
