omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize