we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize