Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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