Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's always time for handjobs
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
