the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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