question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
