somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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