i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
