I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize