Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize