i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
