I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
