those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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