why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
