Small penises have feelings too.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
