Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
