Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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