did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
