i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
