I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
