New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
