Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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