somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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