Whod you bang
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
