he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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