How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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