BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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