there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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